


it doesn't matter [kageyama tobio]

by potatingpotato



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Self-Indulgent, fun fact: Kageyama Tobio is older than Jake Paul, go look at their wikis lmao, low-key kinda crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24858664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potatingpotato/pseuds/potatingpotato
Summary: You discover something about your boyfriend that catches you totally off-guard. Now you're left to wonder if you really know him at all.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Reader, Kageyama Tobio/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 58





	it doesn't matter [kageyama tobio]

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if you're older than Kags (*/ω＼)

You thought you knew everything there was to know about Kageyama Tobio. No, you _know_ you know everything. And yet the piece of paper in your hands continues to mock you. 

_There must be some kind of mistake,_ you try to reason as you unconsciously start biting your nails. _ _There’s no_ way _he wouldn’t tell me.__ You look out the door, where your oblivious beau sits on the couch, absentmindedly flipping through the channels on the TV. 

_...Is there?_

You start pacing, trying to think of a time when it could’ve been brought up. Obviously his birthday, but no one even mentioned it. Everyone just greeted him “happy birthday!” and that was that, otherwise you would’ve found out way sooner and, quite frankly, in a more embarrassing manner. Not that this way wasn’t humiliating on its own. 

It could’ve been when you first met, but it really wasn’t an issue then. For some reason you just assumed he was around the same as yours and you never thought to clarify. He also never thought to tell you, which is ridiculous since it’s one of the most basic things to tell anyone you’re trying to get to know. 

Okay maybe you’re just trying to shift the blame here. It was your fault just as it was his.

You take a deep breath. The only way to clear anything up is to talk to the person involved, as you always say. 

His gaze immediately lands on you the moment you walk into the room, curiosity evident as he eyes the paper you hold behind your back. 

“Tobio,” you began as sweetly as you can. “Can I ask you something?”

He mutes the TV before answering you. “Sure. What’s up?”

For some reason, the casual way he answers irks you. Here you were feeling like your entire life was a lie and he answers you with a ‘what’s up.’

You explode. “You...you were born in 1996?!” you shriek, whipping out the birth certificate you were hiding behind you and pointing at where his birthdate is written. 

With one eyebrow raised, he looks at you like you’re out of your mind. “Yeah.”

“What?!” You can actually feel your heart pounding from the whirlwind of emotions you feel right now. Confusion, betrayal, disbelief form a lump in your throat that almost chokes you. “But you—I thought—” One hand is on your forehead while the other is on your chest, pressing his birth certificate close to your heart as you struggle to get the words out. “What?!”

He doesn’t say anything, only calmly stares back. 

“That means you’re twenty-three!” Your tone almost sounds like you’re accusing him of a crime. 

“Yup.”

“I didn’t know that!” 

His head tilts slightly. “Yeah? I thought you knew?”

“No! Do you think I’d be freaking out right now if I did?!” 

He deadass actually _laughs_ and you swear you actually felt your blood pressure rise. “Guess not.” 

The way this confrontation is going has made you a little light-headed, so you sit down beside him, resting your head on the backrest and looking up at the ceiling blankly. “I swear to God, Tobio, if you’re fucking with me…” 

“How—why would I even do that?” he asks incredulously. “You’re literally holding my birth certificate!” 

You only eye him warily, and he responds by giving you a winning smile. Or at least his version of it. He never really got the hang of smiling on command. 

It’s enough to placate you though. You reach out and he immediately lifts you onto his lap, arms wrapping around you as you nuzzle into his chest. He automatically starts stroking your hair. 

“I really didn’t know…” you mumble, and tears start to prickle your eyes. You discreetly wipe them off on his shirt. 

He only hums in response. 

“I thought you were only months older than me! I thought you were born in 1999!” You look up at him, your lower lip caught between your teeth. “But you’re not…our age gap is wider...it’s years wide…” You look down. 

He gently lifts your face up, holding your chin between his fingers. “Does...does this...change things…?” His hand drops to his lap. 

“No! No!” you answer quickly, your hands reaching up to touch his face. “We’re not breaking up, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

You feel him relax and you smile. “I’m just surprised. And honestly a little bit disappointed.” His face drops and you rapidly shake your head. “No! Not because of your age, silly!”

“Oh.” He blushes, a red tinge on his cheeks all the way up to the tips of his ears. You giggle when you notice, so now he’s pouting as well. “Why then?”

“Well, I was planning something special for your twenty-second birthday…” you explain, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “Dammit, I’m two years late!” you mutter. 

He chuckles lightly, brushing back a strand of hair that fell on your face. “Why my twenty-second?”

“Uh…” It was your turn to blush. “Cause you’re born on the twenty-second…? You know, it’ll be like two twenty-twos.” You smile. “Quadruple twos.”

He nods solemnly, going back to stroking your hair. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll be turning twenty-five next year. Isn’t that a special age?” 

You gasp in horror. “Oh no! You’ll start dying!”

His hand stops, his face scrunching up as he once again gives you a weird look. “What? I won’t. I’m perfectly healthy. I’m literally an athlete.”

You nod, taking it into consideration. “Yeah, but I mean twenty-five’s when your cells start dying. I read that somewhere.” You tilt your head. “You’ll be an old man.”

He deadpans. “I’m not old.”

You shake your head, unsuccessfully stopping a grin from forming. “I don’t know, Tobes. Science doesn’t lie.”

He scowls. “I’m not—!” He calms down, schooling his face back into the resting bitch face he always has. “I’m not... _old_.” He practically spits out the word, making you laugh. 

“Aren’t you though?” you ask with an absolutely shit-eating grin. 

He shoves you off his lap via hand on your face. “Shut up, brat.”

BONUS

You’ve spent the past two hours cuddling on the couch to comfort you after whatever breakdown you just had earlier. With an episode of Friends playing and Tobio’s _godly_ fingers running through your hair while you sit on his lap, you almost wish you could learn life-shattering information everyday.

“Hey, where’s my birth certificate?” Tobio suddenly asks.

“Huh…?” You reluctantly turn your gaze to him. “It’s right here—”

You both fall silent when you see his birth certificate, crumpled up beneath his thigh. You get off his lap so he can get it and you get a full view of the damage done.

You look at each other. 

“We’ll deal with this when we have to.”

“Agreed.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in one sitting at 1 AM and finished at around 2. It was a lot of fun and tbh, the first time writing came so easily to me? Also, this is the second fic I wrote in the past week I think? What is this sorcery? Σ(￣。￣ﾉ)
> 
> This is also my exact reaction when I found out when his birthdate was. I'm still not over it tbh. It feels surreal. 
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are very much appreciated! Stay safe! 💜


End file.
